From the memoir by Hengameh Haj Hassan – Part 12
In this installment of Face to Face with the Beast, Hengameh Haj Hassan recalls a brief and painful reunion with her closest friend and comrade, Shekar Mohammadzadeh, at Ghezel Hesar Prison—seen only through the bars of a small window in Ward 8.
A Glimpse of Shekar
At Ghezel Hesar, most of the older detainees—those arrested on June 20, 1981[1] or earlier—were imprisoned. My closest friend, Shekar Mohammadzadeh, was among them, but I was told she was in Ward 8. I desperately searched for a way to see her, but it seemed impossible.
Then, unexpectedly, we were granted time in the prison yard for fresh air. Everyone had this right—except the prisoners of Ward 8, who were being punished. Still, the windows of Ward 8 cells opened onto the yard.
On the very first day, I saw her. Shekar called out to me.
Oh God… Shekar! My dear friend! When I saw her, I felt as though I could fly with joy. I longed to embrace her once more. In that instant, flashes of the past struck me like lightning—how I used to ruffle her neatly combed hair just to annoy her, or finish her sandwich when she couldn’t eat anymore, while she stared at me with wide eyes and laughed, shaking her head. I remembered how my father used to tease her with funny nicknames until she laughed so hard that tears filled her eyes. She had the most beautiful laugh.
How small and simple our wishes can seem—yet how impossible they become.
Now Shekar stood only two or three meters away from me, behind the small, barred window. I couldn’t even look at her directly. Instead, I had to pace back and forth, pretending to glance elsewhere, while speaking to her in snatches.
Shekar did the same. But with the help of the others and their watchful eyes, I managed to exchange words with her—saying what I needed to say, what mattered most.
Life in Ward 8
Conditions in Ward 8 were far harsher than in our ward. Around 30 women were crammed into a single cell. The guards would literally shove them inside, slamming the door shut by force—kicking and pressing them until it closed.
Inside, many had no space to sit or lie down. Prisoners clung to bunks, stood pressed against each other, or perched on windowsills. That is why Shekar was always at the window; there was barely enough room for one person to crouch there.
They were allowed to use the toilet once every 24 hours, for only three minutes. When they could no longer endure, they were forced to relieve themselves in buckets or plastic bags until the guards opened the door.
It is impossible to imagine how they survived in such suffocating overcrowding. Those who were weaker or ill collapsed from lack of oxygen. Caring for someone unconscious in that stifling cell—trying to keep them alive—was harder than anything else.
Every day, Haj Davoud, the notorious torturer, would come to mock them. In his crude, taunting tone, he sneered:
“Resist! Resist! Until your heroic people come save you!”
Or: “Where’s your dear Massoud[2] now, to come rescue you?”
And he spat venom at them:
“You wretched hypocrites[3], we’ll keep you here until your hair turns as white as your teeth, and your teeth as black as your hair!”
Losing Her Again
Shekar was among them, enduring these conditions. Yet on her face you could see only calmness, the very thing that enraged Haj Davoud the most.
Shekar told me, “We are darbasteh.” I didn’t understand at first. Later, the others explained that it was prison slang for being kept in sealed, locked cells—one of Haj Davoud’s common tortures.
Two days later, she was gone. The window was empty. After asking around, I learned that because of their continued resistance, the women of Ward 8—including Shekar—had been transferred to solitary confinement in Gohardasht Prison, for even harsher torture.
God… I would have been content just to feel her presence behind that wall, even without seeing her. But the enemy had once again dragged her, and the others who stood firm, back into the darkness of torture.
[1] June 20, 1981 (30 Khordad) – The day of mass protests in Tehran against the clerical regime, followed by a brutal crackdown and thousands of arrests.
[2] Massoud – Refers to Massoud Rajavi, leader of the People’s Mojahedin Organization of Iran (PMOI/MEK).
[3] Monafeqin / Hypocrites – A derogatory term used by the regime for political prisoners affiliated with the PMOI/MEK.
